How to live in the present moment.
Stop worrying so much.
It’s completely normal to feel stressed. It’s completely normal to find ourselves in unappealing circumstances in life. This, however, doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re a human being.
Here are some reasons why it’s hard for you to be present:
- You’re focused on the past or the future and not in the moment.
- You’re wandering mind cannot focus on what’s happening RIGHT NOW
- There are too many distractions
- You may feel overwhelmed
- Reality may feel too painful for you
And some signs you’re not living in the present:
- You can’t see the good things happening around you.
- You’re constantly bringing up bad memories and the uncomfortable feeling that they produce.
- You’re constantly thinking about what could’ve been and what could happen.
- You’re stuck in a negative effect of your hell loop and you can’t get out.
- You cannot sleep.
- You feel unhealthy.
- The people around you don’t feel listened to when speaking to you.
- You haven’t noticed something that most people around you have noticed.
Any of these sound familiar? Now, I’m sure you’ve heard the famous quote from Master Oogway in Kungfu Panda:
| “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a GIFT. That is why it’s called the present.”
But it’s true! Tomorrow is never a given, and the past is all behind you, so why worry about anything other than what’s in front of you RIGHT NOW? You may constantly find yourself worrying more about the future and dealing with the crisis of, “what the hell am I doing with my life?”, and I’ve been there too! Heck, I still am dealing with that. However, here’s some tips for accepting your current circumstances and conquering them.
These are called the “Teachings of ACT” worded beautifully by Brad Stulberg in his book Practice of Groundedness:
- Accept what’s happening without fusing your identity to it. Zoom out to a larger perspective or awareness from which you can observe your situation without feeling like you're trapped in it.
- Choose how you want to move forward in a way that aligns with your innermost values.
- Take action, even if doing so feels scary or uncomfortable.
Constantly worrying about a situation or refusing to believe in it altogether does not change it, but it does waste a lot of energy. You’re as ready as you’re going to be. What’s happening right now is what is happening right now, you might as well accept it.
What’re some consequences of NOT living in the present?
Well, let me lay it out for you. For one, you’ll have no REAL conversations or real relationships with other people. If you’re constantly thinking about future events or what happened before, then you’re very unlikely to connect with others in that moment because you really aren’t there. You’ll most likely have nothing in common with others because they aren’t a part of your thoughts and future plans that you constantly obsess over.
Second, you’ll have a lack of focus. Because you’re dwelling on the past and thinking about the future, then your focus will go down the drain. You’ll end up having problems in the workplace and at home since it’s pretty difficult to communicate with someone who’s not mentally there.
Third, you’ll have no inner peace! You’re less likely to find any peace of mind when you’re never in the present moment. You’ll never find peace unless you’ve processed or resolved those thoughts of the past and future.
This relates to the fourth and fifth point! You’re not going to enjoy the moment you’re in AND you’ll miss out on beautiful moments throughout life! When we live in the present moment, we allow ourselves to be present in all of life’s little moments – from simple conversations with our friends and family, to going on a hike in nature. When we don’t live in the present, then we miss out on so many opportunities for joy and connection with others.
So HOW Can You Work on Your Mindfulness and Stay in the Present?
| “The goal isn’t to stop thinking, but to become more aware of when you’re thinking and what’s causing your thoughts. It’s about being mindful of what’s happening in your environment and how it affects your moods and feelings so that you can make better decisions about how you respond to everything that comes up in life.” -Valerie Forgeard
Be Mindful
Being mindful is a very important tool to have when trying to remain in the present moment. It can play a huge role in keeping your mental sanity and enjoying the current moment.
| Mindful - adj. “focusing one's awareness on the present moment, especially as part of a therapeutic or meditative technique.”
It doesn’t mean, however, that nothing’s bothering you or that everything goes peachy everyday. It means that when something goes wrong, or rubs you the wrong way, then you notice those feelings inside you instead of feeling upset and stressed. You let them pass instead of fighting them or ignoring them altogether. Mindfulness helps us stay grounded and focused on the present moment, rather than letting our thoughts wander aimlessly into possibilities that may never come to pass, or into things that have already happened and can’t be changed.
Try Meditation
I know, I know, meditation can seem so cliché and even useless to some people. However, the people that believe that have never truly experienced the benefits of proper meditation. Meditation isn’t just sitting still and breathing all the time either, it can be as simple as taking a walk in nature and enjoying the beauty that’s around you or becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings. Here’s some tips for getting started:
→ Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. You can close your eyes, but that’s optional – some people even find it better to keep their eyes open and focus on something in the room (maybe a speck on the wall, or an object).
→ Take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. Focus on your breath – picturing the air flowing in and out of your nose – or on the physical sensations in your body.
→ Bring your mind back to the present moment by focusing on an object in your current environment or thinking about something specific that’s happening (i.e. the drive to work, or walking your dog). If these strategies aren’t helpful to you, try journaling, mindfulness apps, retreats or whatever works for you!
Start Journaling
Our minds wander all day long without us even realizing it. Hundreds of thoughts and ideas pass through our minds at all times and we need an outlet for keeping track of those things – enter journaling. Our minds are not meant for storing ideas, they’re simply meant for creating them. Once that idea passes, POOF, they’re gone! That’s why it’s important to write those thoughts down.
I use an app called Daylio, which is incredibly useful for daily journal writing, all within the app on my phone! It’s also great for reminding me to write those entries at a specific time of day of my choosing.
It doesn’t need to be everyday either. Personally, I find it useful to sit down once a week – perhaps a Sunday evening – and recapping the most important thoughts and events that happened the past week. These can be written in a hand-written journal, or even on a Google Doc online. It’s a very useful way to let out any negative, or positive, thoughts that are cooped up inside your head. It’s not healthy keeping those bundled up, weighing you down each day. Once that journal entry is written, then you can have a clear mind to start the next week! It’s even cool to look back at what you were thinking, or did, in the past.
Do something you really care about – like exercise!
Every hear of people saying, “Dude, going to the gym is like my mental oasis. It’s my home away from home”? No? Just me?
But seriously, working out is a perfect way of bringing yourself back into the present moment. As soon as the workout has begun, all you’re focused on is that lift, run, or sports game. When you exercise, you don’t even realize you’re strictly focused on that present moment. Have you ever exercised and then an hour goes by and you didn’t even realize it? That sense of fluidity between your body and mind, where you are totally absorbed by and deeply focused on something, beyond the point of distraction. Time feels like it has slowed down? Your senses are heightened? That’s called your “flow state”.
| Flow state describes a feeling where, under the right conditions, you become fully immersed in whatever you are doing
The flow state doesn’t always apply to exercise either! Taking part in activities that you’re truly passionate about will bring about this state and all you’ll care about in that moment is that activity. Welcome, you’ve just entered the present moment. When you’re giving your fullest attention to an activity or task that you are incredibly passionate about, singularly focused on, and totally immersed in, then that flow state takes over and you’re living purely in the present moment.
In the end…
Whenever you catch yourself thinking about the past or future when doing everyday tasks, then it’s time to bring yourself back to reality. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our thoughts and the things going on in our lives that we forget what’s going on around us. We lose touch with our present moment awareness and that can bring us more suffering. Give those tips and tricks above a try and remember that nothing is a given in this world, so embrace what you have right now and just keep moving forward.
Until next time,
#KEEPPLUGGIN
References:
Forgeard, Valerie. “Why Am I Never in the Present Moment.” Brilliantio, 20 May 2022, https://brilliantio.com/why-am-i-never-in-the-present-moment/.
Stulberg, Brad. The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds-Not Crushes-Your Soul. Portfolio/Penguin, 2021.
