Behavior + Fake Identity ≠ Our True Self.

A quote I’ve been pondering lately:

“Behavior that is incongruent with the self will not last.”

What does this mean?

Simply put - you are your identity.

As explained by author, James Clear, you may want more money, but if your identity is someone who consumes rather than creates, then you'll continue to be pulled toward spending rather than earning.

Your behavior and actions in life should be directly proportional to your self and identity.

If our identity is not where we want it to be, then we must focus internally (and often externally with what we surround ourselves with) and ask if we’re really acting according to our true selves.

I see so many people throughout life who try to put on an act in public, but in reality, that’s not who they really are in private.

Additionally, you may continuously make new goals for yourself - which is great - but if we haven’t changed our mindset, lifestyle choices, daily habits, and actions, then we’ll never achieve them.

This all comes back to surrounding yourself in an environment that promotes the kind of behavior you desire.

If we want to succeed in life (whatever that may be - having financial freedom, a family, purpose, happiness, etc.), then we need to create an environment to help us get there. 

The same happens with the opposite.

If we surround ourselves with people who have no ambition or goals in life, then we’ll end up being nothing for the rest of our lives.

Harsh truth, but it’s no lie. It’s up to us to ensure we don’t end up as the latter.

We are a forever-evolving species. 

As human beings, our kind as a whole has made immense technological & philosophical advancements for decades. 

So why should we, as individuals, do any different?

We should strive to continuously learn and better ourselves as much as possible while remaining on a life path that resonates with our purpose.

Our sole purpose in life as humans is to simply ~exist~.

So why not go through this game of life existing as our most authentic selves?

Let’s read the quote again: 

“Behavior that is incongruent with the self will not last.”

Incongruent [adjective]: not accordant or in agreement.

A life that is lived in a way that is not in agreement with our true self, will never last.

Why go through life in opposition to this philosophy?

So How Can We Improve?

1. To start, like in a previous essay, we must create an environment that promotes the growth of our natural self and a healthy lifestyle.

• If your friends only care about drinking & partying on the weekends, think about making new friends.
• If your house is full of junk food & processed crap, get rid of it all & fill it with whole & non-toxic foods.
• If you find yourself watching Netflix every day instead of acquiring a new skill & bettering yourself, then think about canceling your Netflix subscription for a bit.

Starting to get the idea?

2. Self-reflection.

If we want to get a better understanding of our own morals and purpose in life, then we need to start spending some time in reflection.

We need to start feeling comfortable being alone with ourselves.

The way we find inspiration in life is through experiences and what we learn through reading and other forms of education.

We also find this inspiration through isolation.

Once we find this inspiration, this isolation allows us to really marinate with the information and do some critical thinking of our own for once.

Aaron Rodgers, Super Bowl Champion and future Hall of Famer, often spends time on an isolated “darkness retreat”.

He’ll spend 4 straight days in a pitch-black room, no phones, no TV, no lights, or distractions.

He said he spent this time meditating, and dealing with his thoughts.

By the end of the fourth day, Rodgers had experienced immense clarity and self-reflection about his family, career, and future.

Now, we don’t need to go to extremes such as this to experience self-reflection, but just spending more time alone helps us get there.

It’s important if we want to be independent & accomplished individuals, to start being comfortable being alone with ourselves.

But that’s an essay for another day (noted…).

3. Start To Care Less About What People Think.

Easier said than done, right?

I could write a book about the elegance of not giving a f@ck about what other people think, but luckily there’s already one out there.

My parents taught me this concept at a young age and it’s benefitted me ever since.

When we start to care too much about other people’s opinions, then we start conforming to those opinions and changing ourselves (either emotionally or physically) in order to fit in with everyone else.

This is not the way.

We are all very unique individuals and have so much to offer this world.

If we were to muffle those gifts in hopes of “fitting in”, then that’s purely a waste of potential.

Our identity is ours and ours alone, and when we start shapeshifting that identity to get along with people who are already toxic to us, to begin with, then we’re harming our potential for a greater future.

🏁 In the end…

We are our identity.

When we change our behavior that doesn’t resonate with our true self, then it will never last.

It’s as if we’re putting on a chronic act for the world.

There’s truly no benefit to trying to be someone we’re not.

Let the true you shine and the right people and places will attract themselves to you in due time.

Good luck and Keep Pluggin’.

🙇🏻‍♂️🌱 Until Next Time, C.